i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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