I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
