brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
