Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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