kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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