I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
