I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
