Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
