Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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