first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
