so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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