How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
