at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
