i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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