Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
