Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
