what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
