He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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