Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
