Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
