"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
