So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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