Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
