The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
My pussy is not your playground.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
