my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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