He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We left the knife in your bed.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
