Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
