The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
