your room smells of hookers.
And success
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Found the puke drawer
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
