i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
