its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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