escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
