Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.

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(847): View more from Illinois

how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?

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(815): View more from Illinois

I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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(903): View more from Texas

True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period

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(818): View more from California

Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.

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(813): View more from Florida

I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.

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