So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
