She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize