fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
