Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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