what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
