I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
