okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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