Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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