Joe is yelling at the trees again.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
