I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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