I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
