I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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