I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
