yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Randomize
