so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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