OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
