I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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