No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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