you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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