I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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